If you only knew...

‘You can’t go home again’ - isn’t necessarily that places change, but that people do. So nothing ever looks the same.

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

The Lame Dame: fatsexybitch: every time I lose weight and I tell people it’s because... →

fatsexybitch:

every time I lose weight and I tell people it’s because of a depression or a med switch they don’t really give a fuck - they just keep on congratulating me

for being mentally ill

for not being able to eat

for not being able to leave the house and buy food

for not having enough money to have food delivered, or be able to pay a shopper

for not being as fat anymore

and it goes double for a pain flare

like

“It’s a shame you were in so much pain you couldn’t think or work or move from your bed for a week and you had to beg friends to come feed you…

BUT WOAH do you look GREAT! you’re practically glowing!”

“That’s the malnutriton…..”

*last week I had to beg for a friend to go buy dog food because I couldn’t make it to a store for my furbabies* Which caused some SUPER BAD EMOTIONS which were entirely unhelpful for my depression.

YES THIS. SO MUCH THIS. I HEAR SHIT LIKE THIS ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
“That’s so awesome that you lost so much weight!”
“I lost weight because I’ve been sick with MS and crippled with anxiety.”
“But hey - you lost weight! THAT IS AWESOME.”
No. No it’s not.

oh that reminds me when I was sick from cancer. My step-grandmother was like well at least you lost weight.

yeah, thats what happens when you can’t eat, are bed ridden, and are having poison injected into your body but at least I lost weight, right?

Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World →

They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable.Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World

I love when people say: I had a _______ and they died of cancer.

My mom told a lady that I had cancer. First she said no, then she said, ” I had a sister with Leukemia but she died from it.”

How is that suppose to make me feel?

Sloan and Kettering for the win!

The doctor called my mom back and he said it sounds like the side effects of the 3 chemo drugs I got in my spine. He is referring me to the hip oncology specialist.

The problem is they don’t accept our insurance because I don’t have medicaid yet. We have to wait for override authorization. The other thing that scares me is all the walking in NYC.

Are there any spoonies in NYC that can give me tips for navigating the city?

I was so excited today.
My orthopedist basically said because I am in a wheelchair that is why my hip is hurting because nothing on the tests explain why I’m hurting.
He wants me to do physical therapy again.
My mom asked for an MRI with contrast and he said to her,if it’ll make you feel better.

I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t believe me anymore.
He wants me to walk, so I’m gonna start walking again despite the pain. He wants proof that it hurts.

No wonder why I told my social worker at 16, when I turn 18 I am not going to the doctors anymore. They did a mini intervention saying that because I had cancer I had to.

Doctors give me a headache. Just get me into Sloan, fix me, and everything will be alright.

I decided to try bingiton because I got tired of seeing the commercial.

Google won! but I decided to try out Bing.com just to see what the hype is about and it sucks.

the hardest thing about having an illness is letting people help you.

I went to the petting zoo at the fair.
First off, it’s scaring being in a wheelchair at the petting zoo.
The cows were eating my shoes, the sheep stole my cup, and the llama tried to eat my hair.

Secondly, I want a cow! I fell in love. They were so cute and precious.

Spoonie Tumblr Map - Google Maps →

casketscratcher:

brittieslifeasiknowit:

Find spoonies from around the world.

Spoonie Tumblr Map directions

http://goo.gl/maps/T4bv0

click edit

play around with zoom to find your location on the map

click the peg(between the hand and squiggly line)

click your location and add you name/tumblr name and whatever you want to add

then click ok and you’re done

if you still need help or need clearer instructions let me know. I can also add you on to the map if you want.

please reblog, so we can fill this map up with spoonies

Why would you want people to know where you live though?

its not the exact location, it is just supposed to help spoonies find spoonies near them. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a spoonie tumblr meet up? That was the idea for this map.

spoonie

so not cool

I haven’t had a big appetite so I thought soup would be good since it is raining. We didn’t have any so I decided to make one.

Big Mistake.

It was probably only like 30 minutes and I used the food processor for chopping and put a stool by the stove so I can relieve pressure on my left leg.

I’m in so much pain, I’ve been refusing pain pills because of the consequences but I am seriously contemplating it because today I am suppose to go to the county fair

I can’t wait till Tuesday. Maybe he can diagnose it, finally.

I want to eat everything, the problem is I don’t have an appetite and don’t want to eat.

If that makes any sense.

fogwithwheels said: That sucks! I was really hoping for you that you finally found a place! I hope the next place works out!!!!!!

Me too! The thing is my mom called the lady and she would ignore the phone calls instead of just telling my mom, they rented it.

I really want a place, I’m tired of these 17 stairs.

(via couragehopestrength)

hope